HOW TO MAKE A GIRL FALL IN LOVE WITHOUT SPENDING

How To
Make A Girl Fall In Love Without
Spending

I am about to show you the same step by
step secrets players use to get girls
swarming to them like magnet. This is the
same secret that gigolo guys use to land
themselves rich sugar mummies and
girlfriends
Apply these same step by step process and
you would get a girl interested in you
without taking her out on a single date.

Yes, money can attract a girl (no doubt
about that).
Especially the gold-digging
type of girls. But sometimes using money
to attract girls can be annoying, we guys
want a girl that would like us for who we
are and not because of how fat our wallet is
or how much we have spent on her.

Sometimes all we want is true love and not
a girl who is interested in our money.

If you don’t want a gold digger who is just
interested in money then this step by step
seduction secrets will be really helpful.

#1. MAKE YOUR APPROACH WITH
CONCEALED INTENTIONS.

I really want you to get this. Let’s assume
you meet a girl In a bank, what case will
she be more friendly?

CASE 1: when you walk up to her to collect
a pen?

CASE 2: when you walk up to her to toast
her?
Of course, case one is the answer. A girl
you try to toast would naturally try to be
hard to get.

When a girl is sure you like her she tends
to raise her defence.

What players do is to
approach a girl without showing signs that
they are interested in her and by the time
she knows it – bam, she has already fallen.

This is simple psychology. They approach
her this way so they can get into her head
before she starts forming.

So how do you apply this seduction
principle in real life?

To understand this try to think about this
scenario; have you ever had this happen to
you before:

A particular girl gives you green
light and shows signs she likes you then
when you toast her and tell her how much
you love her she suddenly starts
withdrawing from you.

Ever wondered why this happens?

Answer – because you went against the
step one of the players rule-

Players never make the mistake of allowing
a girl become too sure of how much he
feels about her.

Here is the rule: Never tell a girl how much
you love her, make her guess. The best
time to tell her is when you are sure she
feels twice the way you feel.

Girls would tell you they can never date a
guy they are not sure if they love them, but
the truth is this – girls don’t know what
they want. You have to make them fall in
love with you.

#2: JONSE HER WHEN YOU COMMUNICATE

Let me give you a picture of a girl’s life.
Visit the facebook picture of a girl and you
will understand how they think.

Their pictures are filled with praises from guys
and they receive those praises like it’s their
right.

No sweet thing you say to her is new to
her. Her inbox is filled with all sort of
praises.

The average ones get at least 5
serious guys toasting them in two weeks.
To get her attention you have to be
different.

How?

By Jonsing her.

Shocked?

Well, if you were a player you wouldn’t be
shocked. This what players do all the time.
Try and watch the way any player you know
talks to girls.

Notice how they talk to a girl
and make fun of her in a playful way – no
matter how pretty the girl looks – they
don’t care, they just talk to her like she is
their small sister.

It’s simple psychology.
People are naturally attracted to people who
don’t try to impress them. The more pretty
a girl looks the more it works on her.

When other guys are saying sweet things to
her and you show up and say things totally
different from what she is used to hearing
from guys – she starts wondering why and
she starts trying to be close to you.

My favourite approach is to playfully tell a
very pretty girl that I have friendzoned her
and that I don’t find her attractive.
I say this
in a particular way that tricks her into
wanting to make me fall for her.

#3: CONFUSE HER WITH ON AND OFF

Have you ever wondered why girls like guys
who don’t like them while when you shower
her with attention she still ignores you.
Infact, the more you show a girl that you
love her the more she withdraws from you.

Have you ever noticed that?

Well, players have found a way to put a
stop to this. This is called the ON and OFF
strategy.

How is it used?

Simple; by acting like you like her this
moment and then the next moment you
start acting a bit cold.

You must have seen a girl who has fallen
for this particular trick from a player. They
cry that he doesn’t call, he is unpredictable,
that they are not sure if he likes him,
sometimes he quarrels with them for no
just reason.

A popular celebrity player is Chris brown.
Notice how he treats Karrauche and she
still always keep going back to him.

This is the players’ little secret. They never
make a girl become too sure…

source from here.

please drop your comment

5 signs pregnancies

You nature is really funny at times that it make everything easy for us.
yes it made an easy knowledge every.
how?
one may, ok below are 5 easy signs that you are pregnant  without going to lab

1)Breast Tenderness:

Oftentimes, women who are
newly pregnant experience pain and tenderness
in their breasts. This starts approximately two
seconds after you conceive. It’s one of the
earliest symptoms some women experienced
during there pregnancies. The tenderness and
soreness can be quite intense, too. What this
means is that wearing a bra can really hurt. Of
course, not wearing a bra can really hurt, too. You
won’t be able to sleep on your stomach unless
you want to feel like someone is hitting you in the
chest with a baseball bat. If your husband touches
you in this very tender area, you are completely
justified in kicking him in the shins. It’s not all
bad, though, as this is the perfect excuse to stop
jogging on that treadmill and to start using it as
something more functional — like a clothes
hanger. So if your breasts are tender and sore, you
just might be pregnant.

2)Morning Sickness:

Another sign of possible
pregnancy is the dreaded morning sickness.
Although morning sickness doesn’t usually start
up in earnest until you’re four to six weeks
pregnant, if you’re lucky, you could start feeling
nauseous earlier than that. If you’re lucky enough
to have a toddler in diapers and you vomit
repeatedly while changing smelly diapers, you just
might be pregnant. This wasn’t a problem when I
was pregnant with my first baby, but I had at least
one child in diapers with each subsequent
pregnancy. It was not fun. A heightened sense of
smell for both nasty and sweet scents is common
in pregnancy, so if you suddenly find yourself
smelling chocolate chip cookies from the
bakery that’s fifty-eight miles away, you could
possibly be pregnant.
Of course, not all women experience morning
sickness, so you may not ever have this symptom.
If that’s true for you, congratulations—I no longer
like you. Go sit in the corner with my sister and
sister-in-law, who never so much as hiccupped,
let alone vomited, during their pregnancies.

3)Missed Period:

A big sign of pregnancy is skipping
your period for over a month. This is a pretty
good indication of pregnancy, although stress can
do funny things to your body, and what causes
more stress than wondering if you’re pregnant or
not? This isn’t a telltale sign if you’re irregular to
begin with. If you could set your clock by the
monthly visit of dear Aunt Flo, then this sign is
probably more reliable for you. This is one of the
most pleasant symptoms of pregnancy. In fact, it
may just be the best part of pregnancy, save
giving birth to your new little baby. I mean, you
get to go a whole nine months with no period!
Kind of makes you want to get pregnant just for
that little fringe benefit, doesn’t it? But, as with all
good things, this too must end, and after giving
birth, let me tell ya, your uterus more than makes
up for lost time.

4)Fatigue:

Being exhausted is another very common
sign of pregnancy. During the first few months
of pregnancy, I couldn’t stay awake past 8:00
p.m., and I found myself nodding off while sitting
at red lights during the day. If you fall asleep on
your desk at work or in your chicken salad at
lunch, there’s a good chance you could be
pregnant. I remember driving home on my lunch
hour while I was pregnant with my first child. I’d
get home and head toward the kitchen to make
lunch, but I would pass out on the couch before I
ever pulled out a plate. I needed those little naps.
You may think you’ve experienced tiredness, but
until you’ve gotten pregnant, you have no idea
how that extreme pregnancy-fatigue feels. Even
toothpicks in your eyelids can’t keep your eyes
open when you’re newly pregnant. When I
was pregnant with my first baby, I was certain I
had mono. No way could pregnancy cause a
person to be so tired. Clearly, there was
something very wrong with me, I decided.
Of course, this sign isn’t as noticeable in mothers
who already have one or more children, since
sleep deprivation and fatigue are pretty much a
way of life for us moms.

5)Mood Swings:

And let’s not forget the mood
swings. Mood swings are very commonplace in
pregnancy. My husband could usually tell I was
pregnant when he said something innocuous like,
“You look nice today,” and instead of thanking him,
I whipped my head around, shot laser beams from
my eyes, and snapped, “What’s that supposed to
mean?!” While watching television, I’d see a
commercial for car insurance and burst into tears.
I just never knew what might set me off. I was a
veritable Sybil throughout my pregnancies. And
here’s the thing about mood swings—you don’t
even realize you’re nuts when you’re pregnant.
You can’t clearly see your irrational behavior, and
you’ll most likely think that everyone else is
irritable — not you.

remainber to drop your comment

TEENAGE LOVE ADVICE

Every time you catch sight of him, your heart starts
pumping a bit faster, your palms sweat, and your
face turns bright red. There's no hiding it from
your friends or yourself, you've got the bug—the
LOVE bug! Here is some teenage love advice.
Having a crush can drive a girl crazy. You think
about him everyday. You hope to see him at
school or work and when you do, do you talk to
him?
No way! Instead you sit there and gaze and
sigh heavily.
You imagine going to the movies
together and telling each other funny
stories.
Crushing on someone is like carrying a
30-ton weight on your back. It's nerve wracking
because you have no clue how he feels about you!
Here is some teenage love advice on how to deal
with your crush.

Valentine's Day is the perfect day to get the weight
off your chest and clear the air! Get out the red
construction paper and doilies because you're
making that boy a Valentine's Day card!

Teenage Love Advice

Find out what he likes. Now, you're not a stalker,
so don't do anything crazy like follow him for a
day. If you have mutual friends, ask them.
Does he
wear a specific sports cap or jersey?
Is he on your
school's soccer team?
Is he in a band?
Whatever
his likes are, get out some old magazines and cut
out some pictures of his favorite sports team,
band, or anything else you feel will fit. Make a
heart out of red construction paper and decorate it
with cut-outs, glitter, doilies, or whatever
expresses your feelings for him. Mix in some of
your favorite things, too!,
Having writer's block?
Keep it simple when you're
writing your message. Don't tell him you think
about him all 1,440 minutes in a day. That sounds
creepy. If you're super stuck, use this template and
fill in the blanks:
Teenage Love Advice Letter Template

Dear Name of Cute Boy,

My name is Your Name . I've seen you around at
Place . I think you're really Adjective and Adjective .
I would really like to get to know you better. I think
we'd have a lot of fun together. I'd really like it if
we could talk sometime. My screen name/email
address/phone number is Screen Name/Email
Address/Phone Number . I hope to hear from you
soon.

Sincerely,
Your Name

Drop it in his locker or, if you're really brave, give
it to him face-to-face! We all know that the worst
thing that could happen is that he doesn't feel the
same feelings for you. If that's the case, you will
survive. If you have ever had a crush before, you
know that you'll eventually get over it. If this is
your first crush, you'll feel sad and upset, but you
will be OK! Trust us and take our teenage love
advice.

If you never tell your crush your true feelings,
you'll never know what could have happened!
He'll definitely think you're brave for telling him how you
feel.
Be strong, be yourself, and just have fun!

please your comment is highly needed

TEENAGE LOVE ADVICE

Every time you catch sight of him, your heart starts
pumping a bit faster, your palms sweat, and your
face turns bright red. There's no hiding it from
your friends or yourself, you've got the bug—the
LOVE bug! Here is some teenage love advice.

Having a crush can drive a girl crazy. You think
about him everyday. You hope to see him at
school or work and when you do, do you talk to
him? No way! Instead you sit there and gaze and
sigh heavily. You imagine going to the movies
together and telling each other funny
stories. Crushing on someone is like carrying a
30-ton weight on your back. It's nerve wracking
because you have no clue how he feels about you!
Here is some teenage love advice on how to deal
with your crush.
Valentine's Day is the perfect day to get the weight
off your chest and clear the air! Get out the red
construction paper and doilies because you're
making that boy a Valentine's Day card!
Teenage Love Advice
Find out what he likes. Now, you're not a stalker,
so don't do anything crazy like follow him for a
day. If you have mutual friends, ask them. Does he
wear a specific sports cap or jersey? Is he on your
school's soccer team? Is he in a band? Whatever
his likes are, get out some old magazines and cut
out some pictures of his favorite sports team,
band, or anything else you feel will fit. Make a
heart out of red construction paper and decorate it
with cut-outs, glitter, doilies, or whatever
expresses your feelings for him. Mix in some of
your favorite things, too!,
Having writer's block? Keep it simple when you're
writing your message. Don't tell him you think
about him all 1,440 minutes in a day. That sounds
creepy. If you're super stuck, use this template and
fill in the blanks:
Teenage Love Advice Letter Template

Dear Name of Cute Boy,
My name is Your Name . I've seen you around at
Place . I think you're really Adjective and Adjective .
I would really like to get to know you better. I think
we'd have a lot of fun together. I'd really like it if
we could talk sometime. My screen name/email
address/phone number is Screen Name/Email
Address/Phone Number . I hope to hear from you
soon.
Sincerely,
Your Name

Drop it in his locker or, if you're really brave, give
it to him face-to-face! We all know that the worst
thing that could happen is that he doesn't feel the
same feelings for you. If that's the case, you will
survive. If you have ever had a crush before, you
know that you'll eventually get over it. If this is
your first crush, you'll feel sad and upset, but you
will be OK! Trust us and take our teenage love
advice.
If you never tell your crush your true feelings,
you'll never know what could have happened! He'll
definitely think you're brave for telling him how you
feel.
Be strong, be yourself, and just have fun!

YOUR COMMENT PLEASE

TEENAGE LOVE ADVICE

Every time you catch sight of him, your heart starts
pumping a bit faster, your palms sweat, and your
face turns bright red. There's no hiding it from
your friends or yourself, you've got the bug—the
LOVE bug! Here is some teenage love advice.

Having a crush can drive a girl crazy. You think
about him everyday. You hope to see him at
school or work and when you do, do you talk to
him? No way! Instead you sit there and gaze and
sigh heavily. You imagine going to the movies
together and telling each other funny
stories. Crushing on someone is like carrying a
30-ton weight on your back. It's nerve wracking
because you have no clue how he feels about you!
Here is some teenage love advice on how to deal
with your crush.
Valentine's Day is the perfect day to get the weight
off your chest and clear the air! Get out the red
construction paper and doilies because you're
making that boy a Valentine's Day card!
Teenage Love Advice
Find out what he likes. Now, you're not a stalker,
so don't do anything crazy like follow him for a
day. If you have mutual friends, ask them. Does he
wear a specific sports cap or jersey? Is he on your
school's soccer team? Is he in a band? Whatever
his likes are, get out some old magazines and cut
out some pictures of his favorite sports team,
band, or anything else you feel will fit. Make a
heart out of red construction paper and decorate it
with cut-outs, glitter, doilies, or whatever
expresses your feelings for him. Mix in some of
your favorite things, too!,
Having writer's block? Keep it simple when you're
writing your message. Don't tell him you think
about him all 1,440 minutes in a day. That sounds
creepy. If you're super stuck, use this template and
fill in the blanks:
Teenage Love Advice Letter Template

Dear Name of Cute Boy,
My name is Your Name . I've seen you around at
Place . I think you're really Adjective and Adjective .
I would really like to get to know you better. I think
we'd have a lot of fun together. I'd really like it if
we could talk sometime. My screen name/email
address/phone number is Screen Name/Email
Address/Phone Number . I hope to hear from you
soon.
Sincerely,
Your Name

Drop it in his locker or, if you're really brave, give
it to him face-to-face! We all know that the worst
thing that could happen is that he doesn't feel the
same feelings for you. If that's the case, you will
survive. If you have ever had a crush before, you
know that you'll eventually get over it. If this is
your first crush, you'll feel sad and upset, but you
will be OK! Trust us and take our teenage love
advice.
If you never tell your crush your true feelings,
you'll never know what could have happened! He'll
definitely think you're brave for telling him how you
feel.
Be strong, be yourself, and just have fun!

YOUR COMMENT PLEASE

10 TIPS TO KNOW THE PERFECT LOVER

Many of us have been searching whom and whom to fall in love and to get married to. no body want is heart to be broken. in this you will learn how to meet the perfect person and make him your perfect person, below are 10 tips mention for you to know and keep them 
1. Leave the past in the past
When you meet someone new, leave any negative
feelings or past heartbreaks just where they should
be—in the past.

2. You won’t meet someone new in your living
room
Well, maybe a cute guy will deliver your new sofa,
but chances are you’re going to meet someone by
getting out there and trying new things—online
dating, taking a class, etc. Tell everyone,
especially your married friends, that you’re looking
to meet someone and ALWAYS go to parties.
Because you truly never know who you’ll meet.

3. Give the guy a chance
When you were 20 your list was “he must be tall,
dark and handsome.” Try going against type. It
just might be a perfect fit.

4. Look at blind dates like a first date
Two of the authors of our book met their husbands
on blind dates, and you can too! If you’re not sure
you want to sit in a noisy restaurant, go out and
do something fun. One of our Garter Brides went
to a baseball game, and she and her date each
brought a friend. They had a blast and got married
one year later.

5. Time is on your side
Take your time in getting to know your guy and
don’t feel in a rush to meet his children or have
him meet yours. It starts with the two of you. Make
sure this is someone you want in your life.

6. Isn’t it romantic?
Just because you’re meeting the love of your life
later in life doesn’t mean you can’t still have
passionate, amazing sex! The Garter Brides say
“Go for it!”

7. Someone to come home to
When you’re ready to move in together you will
discover how wonderful it is to come home to the
one you love. Be prepared for some give and take
—for example, over which of each others’
belongings stay or go.

8. What’s up with a pre-nup?
Remember that a pre-nup isn’t because you think
your marriage isn’t going to work—it’s so you get
to decide how your assets and everything you’ve
worked for can be protected.

9. Your wedding, your way
Now you’re in love and it’s time to have your
wedding exactly how you want it. The Garter
Brides have had all kinds of weddings! Remember
it is all about you and the man of your dreams.
Whatever you want is the way to go.

10. Happily ever after can happen to you
Remember what the Garter Brides always say: “It’s
never too late to find true love. We did, and you
can too!’

RELATIONSHIP HELP

Advice for Building Relationships that are
Healthy, Happy and Satisfying
A strong, healthy relationship can be one of the
best supports in your life. Good relationships
improve all aspects of your life, strengthening
your health, your mind, and your connections
with others. However, if the relationship isn't
working, it can also be a tremendous drain.
Relationships are an investment. The more you
put in, the more you can get back. These tips
can help keep a healthy relationship strong, or
repair trust and love in a relationship on the
rocks.
•HOW TO STRENGTH YOUR LOVING
RELATIONSHIP
Everyone’s relationship is unique, and people
come together for many different reasons. But
there are some things that good relationships
have in common. Knowing the basic principles
of healthy relationships helps keep them
meaningful, fulfilling and exciting in both happy
times and sad:
•WHAT MAKES A HEALTHY LOVE RELATIONSHIP?
Staying involved with each other. Some
relationships get stuck in peaceful
coexistence, but without truly relating to
each other and working together. While it
may seem stable on the surface, lack of
involvement and communication increases
distance. When you need to talk about
something important, the connection and
understanding may no longer be there.
Getting through conflict. Some couples talk
things out quietly, while others may raise
their voices and passionately disagree. The
key in a strong relationship, though, is not
to be fearful of conflict. You need to be safe
to express things that bother you without
fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve
conflict without humiliation, degradation or
insisting on being right.
Keeping outside relationships and interests
alive. No one person can meet all of our
needs, and expecting too much from
someone can put a lot of unhealthy pressure
on a relationship. Having friends and outside
interests not only strengthens your social
network, but brings new insights and
stimulation to the relationship, too.
Communicating. Honest, direct
communication is a key part of any
relationship. When both people feel
comfortable expressing their needs, fears,
and desires, trust and bonds are
strengthened. Nonverbal cues—body
language like eye contact, leaning forward or
away, or touching someone’s arm—are
critical to communication.
Relationship advice tip 1: Keep
physical intimacy alive
Touch is a fundamental part of human
existence. Studies on infants have shown the
importance of regular, loving touch and holding
on brain development. These benefits do not
end in childhood. Life without physical contact
with others is a lonely life indeed.
Studies have shown that affectionate touch
actually boosts the body’s levels of oxytocin, a
hormone that influences bonding and
attachment. In a committed relationship between
two adult partners, physical intercourse is often
a cornerstone of the relationship. However,
intercourse should not be the only method of
physical intimacy in a relationship. Regular,
affectionate touch—holding hands, hugging, or
kissing—is equally important.
Be sensitive to what your partner likes. While
touch is a key part of a healthy relationship, it’s
important to take some time to find out what
your partner really likes. Unwanted touching or
inappropriate overtures can make the other
person tense up and retreat—exactly what you
don’t want.
RELATIONSHIP ADVICE TIP 2: Spend
quality time together
You probably have fond memories of when you
were first dating your loved one. Everything may
have seemed new and exciting, and you may
have spent hours just chatting together or
coming up with new, exciting things to try.
However, as time goes by, children, demanding
jobs, long commutes, different hobbies and
other obligations can make it hard to find time
together. It’s critical for your relationship,
though, to make time for yourselves. If you
don’t have quality time, communication and
understanding start to erode.
Simple ways to connect as a couple and
rekindle love
Commit to spending quality time
together on a regular basis. Even
during very busy and stressful times, a
few minutes of really sharing and
connecting can help keep bonds
strong.
Find something that you enjoy doing
together, whether it is a shared hobby,
dance class, daily walk, or sitting over
a cup of coffee in the morning.
Try something new together. Doing
new things together can be a fun way
to connect and keep things interesting.
It can be as simple as trying a new
restaurant or going on a day trip to a
place you’ve never been before.
Couples are often more fun and playful in the
early stages of a relationship. However, this
playful attitude can sometimes be forgotten as
life challenges or old resentments start getting
in the way. Keeping a sense of humor can
actually help you get through tough times,
reduce stress, and work through issues more
easily.
Focus on having fun together
Think about playful ways to surprise your
partner, like bringing flowers or a favorite
movie home unexpectedly.
Learn from the “play experts” together.
Playing with pets or small children can
really help you reconnect with your playful
side. If it’s something you do together, you
also learn more about your partner and how
he or she likes to have fun.
Make a habit of laughing together whenever
you can. Most situations are not as bleak as
they appear to be when you approach them
with humor.
Learning how to play again
A little humor and playful interaction can go a
long way in relieving tense situations and
helping you see the brighter side. If you’re
feeling a little rusty, learn more about how
playful communication can improve your
relationship, and for fun ways to practice this
skill.
RELATIONSHIP ADVICE TIP 3:
Never
stop communicating
Good communication is a fundamental part of a
healthy relationship. When people stop
communicating well, they stop relating well, and
times of change or stress can really bring out
disconnect. As long as you are communicating,
you can work through whatever problem you’re
facing.
Learn your partner’s emotional cues
Each of us is a little different in how we best
receive information. Some people might
respond better to sight, sound, or touch. Your
partner’s responses may be different from
yours. Take some time to learn your partner’s
cues, and be sure to communicate your own as
well. For example, one person might find a brief
massage after a stressful day a loving mode of
communication—while another might just want
to talk over a hot cup of tea.
So much of our communication is transmitted
by what we don’t say. Nonverbal cues—such as
eye contact, leaning forward or away, or
touching someone’s arm—communicate much
more than words. For a relationship to work
well, each person has to be receptive to
sending and receiving nonverbal cues. Learning
to understand this “body language” can help
you better understand what your partner is
trying to say. Think about what you are
transmitting as well, and if what you say
matches what you feel. If you say “I’m fine,” but
you clench your teeth and look away, then your
body is clearly signaling you are not.
Question your assumptions
If you’ve known each other for a while, you may
assume that your partner has a pretty good idea
of what you are thinking and what you need.
However, your partner is not a mind reader.
While your partner may have some idea, it is
much healthier to directly express your needs to
avoid any confusion. Your partner may sense
something, but it might not be what you need.
What’s more, people change, and what you
needed and wanted five years ago, for example,
may be very different now. Getting in the habit
of expressing your needs helps you weather
difficult times, which otherwise may lead to
increasing resentment, misunderstanding, and
anger.
Use your senses to keep stress in check
If you’re not calm and focused, you won’t be
able to communicate effectively. The best way
to reduce stress quickly and reliably is through
the senses. But each person responds
differently to sensory input, so you need to find
things that are soothing to you.
Relationship advice tip 4: Healthy
relationships are built on give and
take
If you expect to get what you want 100% of a
time in a relationship, you are setting yourself
up for disappointment. Healthy relationships are
built on compromise, and it takes work on each
person’s part to make sure that there is a
reasonable exchange.
Recognize what’s important to your partner
Knowing what is truly important to your partner
can go a long way towards building goodwill
and an atmosphere of compromise. On the flip
side, it’s also important for your partner to
recognize your wants and for you to state them
clearly. Constantly compromising your needs for
others' will build resentment and anger.
Don’t make “winning” your goal
If you approach your partner with the attitude
that things have to be your way or else, it will
be difficult to reach a compromise. Sometimes
this attitude comes from not having your needs
met while you were younger, or it could be from
years of accumulated resentment building up in
your current relationship. It’s all right to have
strong convictions about something, but your
partner deserves to be heard as well. You are
more likely to get your needs met if you respect
what your partner needs, and compromise when
you can.
Learn how to respectfully resolve conflict
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but to
keep a relationship strong, both people need to
feel they’ve been heard. The goal is not to win
but to resolve the conflict with respect and love.
Make sure you are fighting fair.
Don’t attack someone directly; use “I”
statements to communicate how you feel.
Don’t drag old arguments into the mix.
Keep the focus on the issue at hand, and
respect the other person.
RELATIONSHIP ADVICE TIP 5: Expect
ups and downs
It’s also important to recognize that there are
ups and downs in every relationship. You won’t
always be on the same page. Sometimes one
partner may be struggling with an issue that
stresses them, such as the death of a close
family member. Other events, like job loss or
severe health problems, can affect both partners
and make it difficult to relate to each other. You
might have different ideas of managing finances
or raising children. Different people cope with
stress differently, and misunderstanding can
rapidly turn to frustration and anger.
Relationship advice for getting through life’s
ups and downs
Don’t take out your problems on your
partner. Life stresses can make us short
tempered. If you are coping with a lot of
stress, it might seem easier to snap at your
partner. Fighting like this might initially feel
like a release, but it slowly poisons your
relationship. Find other ways to vent your
anger and frustration.
Some problems are bigger than both of you.
Trying to force a solution can cause even
more problems. Every person works through
problems and issues in his or her own way.
Remember that you’re a team. Continuing to
move forward together can get you through
the rough spots.
Be open to change. Change is inevitable in
life, and it will happen whether you go with it
or fight it. Flexibility is essential to adapt to
the change that is always taking place in any
relationship, and it allows you to grow
together through both the good times and
the bad.
Don’t ignore problems. Whatever problems
arise in a romantic relationship, it’s
important to face them together as a couple.
If an aspect of the relationship stops
working, don’t simply ignore it, but instead
address it with your partner. Things change,
so respond to them together as they do.
Romantic relationships require ongoing
attention
Many couples focus on their relationship
only when there are specific, unavoidable
problems to overcome. Once the problems
have been resolved they often switch their
attention back to their careers, kids, or
other interests. However, romantic
relationships require ongoing attention and
commitment for love to flourish. As long
as the health of a romantic relationship
remains important to you, it is going to
require your attention and effort.
If you need more relationship help
and advice
Sometimes problems in a relationship may
seem too complex or overwhelming for a
couple to handle on their own. In that case, it’s
important to reach out together for help. There
are a number of options available, including:
Couples counseling. It’s a big investment,
and time, energy, focus and commitment are
needed from both people to make a
difference, but you might consider couples
or marriage counseling to resolve your
differences. Both parties need to be willing
and able to honestly communicate what he
or she needs, face the issues that arise in
counseling, and then make the necessary
changes. It’s important also that both
people feel comfortable with the counselor.
Spiritual advice. Some couples benefit from
spiritual advice from a religious figure such
as a pastor or rabbi. This tends to work
best if both persons have similar convictions
of faith and have a good relationship with
the spiritual advisor.
Emotional Intelligence building. Try using
Helpguide's Emotional Intelligence Toolkit ,
a free utility for building emotional health
and emotional intelligence. This in-depth
course provides articles, videos, and audio
meditations designed to help you put the
skills of emotional intelligence and
communication into practice.
Individual therapy. Sometimes one person
may need specialized help. For example,
someone who is grieving the loss of a loved
one may need counseling to help him or her
process the grief. If your loved one needs
help, don’t feel like you are a failure for not
providing him or her everything he or she
needs. No one can fulfill everyone’s needs,
and getting the right help can make a
tremendous difference in your relationship.
source: HELPGUIDE
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